In a Haze

Seriously, I'm walking around in a haze these days. Life with a newborn, a toddler, and a very active 6 year old has me spinning and no end is in sight. At times I feel like breaking down in tears and feeling sorry for myself. And then, I had a reality check.

I read a fantastic blog post last night that totally jerked my fuzzy sleep deprived self out of the clouds and reminded me of the need to be totally and completely present in the now, if I can. The mommy blogger wrote a letter to herself 20 years from now looking back on her life once her children are grown. And she reminded us that all the things we are going through are simply phases that will end and new phases will begin.

And I realized just how right she was. I won't be a walking zombie forever. Eventually, I'll be that mom waiting up late at night for my teenagers to return home from wherever they've galavanted off to for the evening, hoping and praying they make it back to me safely.

I won't always be stepping over legos and blocks on my floor and wiping crumbs off of my coffee table. I won't always be nursing my newborn around the clock. In fact, there will come a time where my house is spotless and I have no one to cook for, and I will be wishing that my kids were here to make that mess again, wishing I had someone to spend my time caring for.  And wow, does this reality make me sad.

I won't lie: I am exhausted. I am overwhelmed. But, I am totally and completely overwhelmed and blessed with the love I feel for my children. And while I am tired and struggling to keep my eyes open at times, I am also struggling not to miss out on these precious moments with my little ones. So maybe I can let the toys linger on the living room floor, because who else is going to see them but us? Who cares if there is a sticky residue covering my table after a meal; precious little fingers enjoyed a snack and left the evidence for all to see!

I just need to focus on letting my kids be my kids, appreciate them and practice patience as much as I can. I need to recognize that this too shall pass, and too soon I will be desperately trying to press rewind in order to hold on to as much of their childhood as I possibly can.

I have three beautiful children with a lifetime of possibilities ahead of them. Damn, I'm lucky.

"I was always trying to find the balance between trying my best and being an incredible parent. I literally realized that it was chaos - but it was happy chaos." -Soleil Moon Frye

Letting Go

The title of my blog is "Controlled Chaos".  I accept the fact that chaos is a part of life, but that doesn't mean that I can easily give up my need to control what I can. That leads me to today. I'm 39 weeks pregnant and my little man, though I am extremely ready for him to come, apparently is not ready to meet us yet.

Oh, I've tried all the tricks to bring on labor--walking, spicy foods, fresh pineapple, exercise, bouncing on the trampoline, and a few other highly recommended "remedies" I won't mention--and yet, no baby. I'm having to basically accept the fact that I cannot control the arrival date of my little guy. I. am. not. in. control. here. There, I said it.

So instead of fretting over the fact that he isn't coming on my timeline, I suppose I will just sit back and enjoy the time I have left being pregnant, because this is absolutely the last time I will ever be. This is the last time I will feel this life move inside of me. The last time I will share these intimate moments with my baby, without having to share him with others. Precious and special moments preparing me for the time when I can meet this little soul face to face, though he and I already know each other so well.

"There are some things I can't control, and that's just the way it is". - Susane Colasanti, Waiting For You


Sigh. Ain't that the truth.

Weekly Inspiration

Creating a Daily Schedule: Tips for Any Mommy

Being a stay at home mom is new for me.  I also am juggling the responsibilities of working from home for a small publishing company, while taking care of my 16 month old, managing the household, chauffeuring my 1^st grader to and from school and activities, and being pregnant with baby (surprise) #3.

There are days that I look around my house and think, “What in the world did I even do today?”. Some days are busier than others. There are moments that I feel like I am running around with my head cut off, and then other days where I find myself looking for things to do to fill the excess time. 

But I’m not complaining. I have always wanted this life. I have dreamed about the chance to be a FULL TIME mom to my girls, a FULL TIME wife to my husband, and feel blessed to be able to enjoy a career on top of it, all from the comfort of my own home!

It has come to the point where I need to create a daily schedule for myself. And for the most part, the schedule has created itself along the way, but I need to be sure to write in some more time for those things I want to be doing as well as need to be doing.

Tips to Remember:

1. Easiest things to add to the schedule: The kids’ wake up times and bedtimes!
2. Schedule your meals! And with little ones, this is pretty easy to do. Around here, if we are running late for dinner, our little one quickly lets us know we have missed our time!
3. Break up chores: It is not necessary to clean everything every day, or to do everything in one day.
4. Schedule YOU time! While it is important to organize activities and “To Do’s”, it is also important to remember to schedule time for JUST YOU, time where you exercise, take a deep breath, and even time where you can simply do nothing, and not feel guilty. 
5. Don’t be too hard on yourself if something on your schedule goes undone. It will happen eventually. The goal of having a schedule is to give you some peace of mind, and then allow yourself the flexibility to reschedule as necessary. And any mom will appreciate this advice!

Pinterest Inspiration

So I'm totally obsessed with Pinterest these days. It has helped to clean up all the bookmarks that I used to put on my computer to keep track of the blogs and ideas I loved and just HAD to put to use sometime soon. And better yet, I get to share my favorites and see what my friends like as well.  Have you tried it yet? Need an invite? Let me know :)

A few years ago, I was searching for bed/playhouse options for our then almost 4 year old daughter. We lived in a townhouse at the time and had a very small yard (well.. we had NO yard to be exact), so an outdoor play area was not an option.

During my search I came across this loft bed playhouse combo from Pottery Barn. Adorable right? But the price tag was not! I think it was somewhere around $1300 at the time.

Now, my dad is super handy. Builds most things from scratch. So I sent him the picture for inspiration and asked if he was up to the challenge for his then ONLY grandchild and love of his life. He decided to take on the project as his Christmas gift to her. Yes, please :)

He and I worked together for my list of must haves: Had to fit the dimensions of her bedroom. Needed to be easy to put together and take apart. I wanted a window box for flowers. And besides that, I left it up to him.

My dad tends to overbuild. He thought it out. Planned out the dimensions. And built the bed in his workshop in Florida, TRANSPORTED the bed to our home in South Carolina, where we disassembled and then reassembled it. It was a process, but it turned out phenomenal. The best part? He says he has around $300 total in the bed. Yep! That's it!  

Here's the bed in process:

Dad built the frame, and the base of the bed: The actual playhouse. He added a few extra windows and painted it white. So cute, right?

To say this bed was handcrafted with love is an understatement. He built the ladder by hand. He owns a blind/shutter business so the railing on top of the bed are actually shutter frames that he filled with lattice.

My stepmom helped as well. The pink wall on the back of the playhouse is chalkboard paint. My daughter loved it. And my dad actually sewed the little curtains for the windows inside.

And this was the finished product. Adorable! My daughter loved it, and is now 6 1/2 years old and still using it. We have moved TWICE since the bed was put together and it was so well made that it has survived the moves and we plan to give the bed to our youngest daughter when she is old enough and our oldest is ready for a different bed. And then when our soon to be born little boy is ready, we will adapt the bed and make it a bit more "boyish" for him.

I keep telling Dad we need to draw up the plans for this bed and sell them! It's a work of art, and is really an inexpensive way to get an awesome bed for your little one. We could use the proceeds to put towards the kids' college funds :)

I plan to link this to Pinterest and share my Dad's work of art with everyone. Seriously, this was one of the best gifts we have ever received. And the joy it brings our girls is incredible!

The Westberg Life: Reinvention and Restructuring

"I am still making order out of chaos by reinvention."--John Le Carre


Ahh, the chaos of life. We have been in Nashville now for about 6 months, and this time has been one of restructuring, reorganization, and in many ways reinvention. A redefining, if you will, of who we all are and, for Joey and I in particular, our roles in this family.


Because of his job, I've had the opportunity to be at home with Kirby and Kelsey-- something I have always dreamed about doing but was never a reality for us.  I'm able to be that stay-at-home mom that takes her daughter to school, can attend functions during the day, and picks her up at 3pm sharp. Meanwhile, I get to be home with Kirby during the day, spending time with just her playing games and loving on that sweet little one. Something I had to give up when I was required to work outside of the home.


Is this "career oriented woman" bored out of her mind? Not at all.  I was fortunate to have a part-time side job turn into a full time opportunity to work from home. I am challenged daily and inspired by the work I get to do as an editor and writer and well, a multi-tasker for the small publishing company I've been with for a year and a half now. I get to have that career and be the mom I want to be. I'm incredibly blessed and at this point, I can't imagine changing my routine any time soon. I just don't want to give it up.


Not that it would be practical at this point. Because chaos presented its lovely head again in the Westberg family in October when Joey and I found out that we are expecting a surprise: A baby that will be joining our family in the beginning of June... and a baby BOY at that. We are thrilled (still a bit shocked!) but are ready for the reinvention of the Westberg family that this new little one will bring to the table. The two youngest will be 20 months apart, so needless to say I'm going to be  busy. But.... blessed.


So meet the newest addition to the chaos that is the Westberg Family: Our little boy, Grice Patrick.

A sneak peek...

Want to see my precious girls???

"Suddenly, through birthing a daughter, a woman finds herself face to face not only with an infant, a little girl, a woman-to-be, but also with her own unresolved conflicts from the past and her hopes and dreams for the future...".